Hello blog world! I haven't posted anything since last April. Yikes! Looks like I need to get back on the blog bandwagon. At least that's something I want to work on this year, among other things of that nature. I think the best way to write out (some of) my goals for this year is a numbered list, like I do in my actual paper journal. I want to focus on getting better emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. These won't be in any kind of order. So...without further ado, here goes.
1. Develop my Youtube and become more confident in it
2. Take more classes, possibly computer related but maybe some hobby related too
3. Get a massage to see if that helps with my back/neck pain and overall stress
4. Find ways to be more involved in social activities and develop (or regain) self confidence
5. Connect with a small group for long term
6. Clear out old/unused makeup and simplify makeup collection/find products that work for me
7. Print pics saved on USB from high school to current
8. Research and find options for a possible living situation on my own (not living still with parents)
9. Career field pursuits - get volunteer experience for resume
10. Look into singing lessons and involvement in choir
11. Start learning more advanced photography
12. Possibly create social media sites connected to my Youtube
13. Continue with blog posts on here
14. Spend less time online
15. Get an easily manageable haircut and maybe get it colored again
16. Read for fun/personal growth
17. Take more care of my skin/be more proactive with sunscreen and gentle products
18. Work on being more joyful in difficult circumstances
19. Read my Bible more
20. And last but not least, work on anxiety levels.
This is not an inclusive list but these are the ones I find to be the most important to work on this year. I'm so excited about this year but I'm also so nervous about the things that are happening in daily life but there are already some awesome things developing that could be really major. We shall see...Only God knows what will be in my future-Jeremiah 29:11 :)
Love you guys and thanks for reading my post!! What are some of your goals/resolutions for this year??
<3
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
FOTD
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| Face: L'Oreal BB Cream in Fair/Blush-Revlon Naughty Nude/Eyes: Eyeshadow-ELF 30 everyday shadows palette (two shades)/Mascara-Covergirl Lash Blast Fusion/Lips: Maybelline Whisper-Lust for Blush |
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Forever single?
I have had so many thoughts about this for a while now and I want to attempt to get out of my "writers block" mindset, so here goes nothing.
I consider myself to be a very intense thinker. I tend to over analyze people's comments about how I do things. To a certain extent, I think this is because I have assumed that my home experience is the same as how people get talked to in "life in the real world" and I attribute this to my relationship with my mom. This is a topic for another blog. When it comes to my self image, I tend to me my own worst enemy, it seems. In middle school through junior high, I had established enough confidence to have a decent conversation with guys, particularly ones that I had a crush on. I would call this the "friend zone". However, as I got older and continued with my homeschooling education, I kind of did the "one step forward, two steps backward" with friendships and conversations. I realize that this is quite a common pattern especially in this age range. Being the naturally shy person made me even more awkward and shy around guys continuing into my high school years. I don't know how many people who know me know that I repeated my sophomore year because my mom and I agreed that I "wasn't ready". This relates to my "development of self" in that as I was repeating my sophmore year, I was taking my education online, and this kind of blocked the rest of my development socially. Having said this, I do believe that the friends I made at church were a great blessing and helped to balance my social life. The first "real" experience with interaction with guys in a social environment was when I transferred partway through my junior year. My mom and I agreed that it would be good for me to get more social interaction and opportunities to explore some arts-related classes such as music, that I wouldn't have been able to have with just online. Transferring to a private Christian school was one of the best decisions of my life so far, if not my high school years. It was so scary to go from barely any interaction with people to seeing the same faces every day and not only that, but being able to have a trust built on shared faith. If I had gone to the local public school, finding people to connect with on a deeper level would be like finding a needle in a haystack. This is all to say that I am beyond grateful for the time I had at the high school I graduated from. Deciding where to go to continue my education after I graduated was another tough decision. When I finally decided to go to Edison, it was because of the closeness and thus, the ease of travel, and also the money would be more realistic. The topic of study for my degree was somewhat secondary. I think that if I had more resources and my circumstances were a little bit different at that time, I would have pursued a degree at a Christian college/university. I think this is because my faith is such an important part of my life. My time at Edison was interesting...(I graduated with a Medical Office Support Associates of Business). While I was there, I was focused on my classes and not so much the social activities that were available. It doesn't help that 99% of people that I talk to think that I am 17 or 18, or if I'm really lucky, 19 (Again, this is another topic for another blog). This "avoidance" of social activities prevented me from even further interaction with guys my age. Another thing to point out is that I didn't get my license til I was 21 and my first car I got when I was 20. Being dependent on my parents or other sources of transportation through my adolescent/young adult years limited my availability to go out and have fun.
This leads me to my main point of this whole blog. I have been wrestling with the thought of maybe being "forever single". This concept on some days makes my stomach turn, but on other days, I am at peace with it. I am not saying that I think it is likely that I won't find someone to spend the rest of my life with. It has just come to my attention that I am SO BEYOND the typical social development of my peers i.e. by this time (I'm 23) they have graduated from a 4 year college (I only did 2 to finish my degree, which is fine) and have through their college/university of choice or possibly from earlier friendships found a Godly guy to marry. Quite a few of them have started a family, as in, at least one kid, and a few have 2. I don't have a strong desire to marry or have a kid at this point in my life. Maybe this is the reason why I haven't developed any relationships that could possibly turn into marriage.
As my single life continues, I reflect on scripture that talks about finding fulfillment in Christ and that He is everything you need. I definitely think this has kept my head up through all of this overwhelming time. I begin to think about my life as a whole and how many times I have put my faith in Christ for things that I know without a doubt that I would fail without Him. As I learn to make this my focus and let it drive all of my decisions, I think that is when I am more at peace.
While I haven't discovered yet what it really means to let Christ be sufficient for all my needs, and while I know I won't ever "arrive" and know the full extent, I hope that I can bring up something that is not talked about enough, I think. Living the rest of my life single really doesn't sound all that bad if I am using my singleness to use every opportunity to love Christ and love people. That is the sum purpose of my life as Matthew 22 verse 37 through 38 describes. Loving people does not necessary have to be in context of believers only. Loving people means showing compassion and treating others how you want to be treated. This should be my main goal as I continue through this messy, confusing, yet overwhelming beauty of being single, and maybe if God gives me the opportunity to meet someone, the goal remains the same.
<3 Becca <3
I consider myself to be a very intense thinker. I tend to over analyze people's comments about how I do things. To a certain extent, I think this is because I have assumed that my home experience is the same as how people get talked to in "life in the real world" and I attribute this to my relationship with my mom. This is a topic for another blog. When it comes to my self image, I tend to me my own worst enemy, it seems. In middle school through junior high, I had established enough confidence to have a decent conversation with guys, particularly ones that I had a crush on. I would call this the "friend zone". However, as I got older and continued with my homeschooling education, I kind of did the "one step forward, two steps backward" with friendships and conversations. I realize that this is quite a common pattern especially in this age range. Being the naturally shy person made me even more awkward and shy around guys continuing into my high school years. I don't know how many people who know me know that I repeated my sophomore year because my mom and I agreed that I "wasn't ready". This relates to my "development of self" in that as I was repeating my sophmore year, I was taking my education online, and this kind of blocked the rest of my development socially. Having said this, I do believe that the friends I made at church were a great blessing and helped to balance my social life. The first "real" experience with interaction with guys in a social environment was when I transferred partway through my junior year. My mom and I agreed that it would be good for me to get more social interaction and opportunities to explore some arts-related classes such as music, that I wouldn't have been able to have with just online. Transferring to a private Christian school was one of the best decisions of my life so far, if not my high school years. It was so scary to go from barely any interaction with people to seeing the same faces every day and not only that, but being able to have a trust built on shared faith. If I had gone to the local public school, finding people to connect with on a deeper level would be like finding a needle in a haystack. This is all to say that I am beyond grateful for the time I had at the high school I graduated from. Deciding where to go to continue my education after I graduated was another tough decision. When I finally decided to go to Edison, it was because of the closeness and thus, the ease of travel, and also the money would be more realistic. The topic of study for my degree was somewhat secondary. I think that if I had more resources and my circumstances were a little bit different at that time, I would have pursued a degree at a Christian college/university. I think this is because my faith is such an important part of my life. My time at Edison was interesting...(I graduated with a Medical Office Support Associates of Business). While I was there, I was focused on my classes and not so much the social activities that were available. It doesn't help that 99% of people that I talk to think that I am 17 or 18, or if I'm really lucky, 19 (Again, this is another topic for another blog). This "avoidance" of social activities prevented me from even further interaction with guys my age. Another thing to point out is that I didn't get my license til I was 21 and my first car I got when I was 20. Being dependent on my parents or other sources of transportation through my adolescent/young adult years limited my availability to go out and have fun.
This leads me to my main point of this whole blog. I have been wrestling with the thought of maybe being "forever single". This concept on some days makes my stomach turn, but on other days, I am at peace with it. I am not saying that I think it is likely that I won't find someone to spend the rest of my life with. It has just come to my attention that I am SO BEYOND the typical social development of my peers i.e. by this time (I'm 23) they have graduated from a 4 year college (I only did 2 to finish my degree, which is fine) and have through their college/university of choice or possibly from earlier friendships found a Godly guy to marry. Quite a few of them have started a family, as in, at least one kid, and a few have 2. I don't have a strong desire to marry or have a kid at this point in my life. Maybe this is the reason why I haven't developed any relationships that could possibly turn into marriage.
As my single life continues, I reflect on scripture that talks about finding fulfillment in Christ and that He is everything you need. I definitely think this has kept my head up through all of this overwhelming time. I begin to think about my life as a whole and how many times I have put my faith in Christ for things that I know without a doubt that I would fail without Him. As I learn to make this my focus and let it drive all of my decisions, I think that is when I am more at peace.
While I haven't discovered yet what it really means to let Christ be sufficient for all my needs, and while I know I won't ever "arrive" and know the full extent, I hope that I can bring up something that is not talked about enough, I think. Living the rest of my life single really doesn't sound all that bad if I am using my singleness to use every opportunity to love Christ and love people. That is the sum purpose of my life as Matthew 22 verse 37 through 38 describes. Loving people does not necessary have to be in context of believers only. Loving people means showing compassion and treating others how you want to be treated. This should be my main goal as I continue through this messy, confusing, yet overwhelming beauty of being single, and maybe if God gives me the opportunity to meet someone, the goal remains the same.
<3 Becca <3
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Hopes for my Youtube :)
Here are some things that I hope to film in the next couple months on my Youtube:
My Youtube
1. Monthly favorites (beauty and other)
2. Hauls
3. Product reviews
4. Product demos/first impressions
5. Some song covers
6. Maybe some videos with other people in them :)
7. More tutorials
8. Reflections on life subjects
9. Tag videos
10. OOTDs and FOTDs
11. Videos involving "car vlogs"
12. Reflections on life as a child vs. now
13. Something faith related
What would you like to see the most?
I am not really sure at this point how public my blog is but I want it to be available to anyone so that anyone can comment. Any suggestions?
<3 Becca <3
My Youtube
1. Monthly favorites (beauty and other)
2. Hauls
3. Product reviews
4. Product demos/first impressions
5. Some song covers
6. Maybe some videos with other people in them :)
7. More tutorials
8. Reflections on life subjects
9. Tag videos
10. OOTDs and FOTDs
11. Videos involving "car vlogs"
12. Reflections on life as a child vs. now
13. Something faith related
What would you like to see the most?
I am not really sure at this point how public my blog is but I want it to be available to anyone so that anyone can comment. Any suggestions?
<3 Becca <3
I posted my first video on Youtube!
I FINALLY got the guts to record my first video to upload to Youtube. Yay! I have wanted to do this for a while now, at least a year. One of the main reasons I wanted to establish some sort of Youtube presence is that I wanted to prove myself that I am not the "always shy" person I saw myself (and, to a certain extent, still do) for as long as I can remember. I wanted to be able to express in some form my feelings about the "growing up and moving out" process that I have been wracking my brain with. Having said this, I don't think that I have in any sense "arrived" at all, nor do I think I ever will. I am a firm believer of the concept of life as a constantly molding experience. This shows itself in the sort of things that I pursue as a hobby, or something that piques my interest in a way that may or may not be considered the typical or even, expected, path to becoming independent person I know I can and will be. I have been watching Youtube videos ever since I graduated high school in 2010. When I watch certain people on Youtube, and see how they, for lack of a better term, change, because they put themselves out to the entire world, it makes me think about my life and what things are changing me, and do people day to day, observe me, either consciously or subconsciously, and think, "Becca is a different person because of ________ ". This is not what motivates me to refine my skills and hobbies to share with the world. I believe that I have a purpose to live my life as me, not anyone else. As obvious as this sounds, it really is becoming one of the most difficult concepts to master. Starting a Youtube account and recording some videos of what I find interesting or things that I don't know much about is what I want to do for the rest of the year. I hope that through this pursuit, I can be a challenge for people who have "lost" themselves through masking someone they thought they were. I have already checked off a bucket list item by a) creating a blog and b) uploading a video that is posted above. I would really like to get to the point where I post every day or maybe at least once a week. I am pretty sure that there are many people in the world who are in the same life circumstance as me and I hope to connect with those people and re-connect with friends I've already made. :)
<3 Becca <3
Friday, January 31, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
T.M.I. TAG!
This list of questions was from a Youtube video tag uploaded by Fleur DeForce. I thought it would be fun to give it a go even though there might be some overlap of questions from the previous set of questions.
THE QUESTIONS
1: What are you wearing? A purple wintery shirt with sparkly snowflakes, jeans, and slippers.
2: Ever been in love? No. Can't say that I have yet.
3: Ever had a terrible breakup? Nope (refer to previous question).
4: How tall are you? I am 5'7".
5: How much do you weigh? Uh....
6: Any tattoos? No, but if in a perfect world, they weren't horrible for you and they didn't hurt, then I would really like to get some sort of scripture or scriptural based tattoo to remind me of God's unchanging love.
7: Any piercings? Yes, I have my ear lobes pierced. I wanted to get another set right above them, but I never got around to doing it. Also, I really like the nose studs you can get, but I'm too scared to get one.
8: OTP? I'm actually not sure if this refers to just celebrities in the "real world" or if this is just an online thing. But I will have to say for the sake of Youtube-ness, Tanya&Jim.
9: Favorite show? Parenthood/Blue Bloods/Hawaii 5-0/NCIS/SYTYCD
10: Favorite bands? I am loving Imagine Dragons. Not sure if they are like favorite of all time, but they're in the top.
11: Something you miss? Volunteering at Camp Patmos '07-09. Of course there are so many other things I miss. This is just something I thought of first.
12: Favorite song? My current favorite song is Lego House - Ed Sheeran
13: How old are you? I am 23. Yesterday was my birfday (Intentional typo because it looks funny).
14: Zodiac sign? I can hardly believe I know this because I certainly don't follow it, but I'm an Aquarius.
15: Quality you look for in a partner? Sincerity, loyalty, compassion, joyfulness, patience, self control...
16: Favorite Quote? Well, my favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11. This is probably because I'm a self-proclaimed worrywart. Another one I really like is along those lines: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. I'm not really sure who said this originally.
17: Favorite actor? I don't have one favorite, but one I have seen some of his movies recently is
18: Favorite color? PURPLE.
19: Loud music or soft? I think both have their appropriate times. I tend to like each about the same.
20: Where do you go when you're sad? My room. I try to distract myself from my sadness and fix or organize something. That usually helps. Temporary...
21: How long does it take you to shower? On average, I'd say about 15 minutes. When I had a shorter haircut, it was more like 10 min or less.
22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Ha. Well, this varies day by day. I don't really "get ready". But if I were actually getting up for something that I was doing that day, in a rush I would say 20 min. But if I were taking my leisurely time, it's more like half an hour.
23: Ever been in a physical fight? Nope.
24: Turn on? Someone who defends me in any kind of way.
25: Turn off? Swearing like a sailor...Is that really a thing? Are sailors really known for their foul language?
26: The reason I joined Youtube? The reason I "joined" Youtube was to explore my more creative side. And I also like visual arts. I haven't posted any videos yet of me, but I have created a few videos, with more hopefully to come with my face and/or voice.
27: Fears? Rejection by someone I trust. Everyone has that fear, right?
28: Last thing that made you cry? I think I cried happy tears watching proposals on Youtube yesterday.
29: Last time you said you loved someone? Yesterday. I told my mom.
30: Meaning behind your Youtube name? Well, my Youtube name is also my full name. Not much else to say. I guess I wasn't feeling very creative when I made it.
31: Last book you read? I would have liked to say Divergent, but I'm not quite done. The last book I actually did finish was Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I love this book. I have actually read it through twice.
32: The book you're currently reading? This answer applies to the last one: Divergent. I am also trying to finish The Kommandant's Girl, but this one is a library book so I have a time crunch.
33: Last show you watched? Last show I watched (at least most of it) was Downton Abbey with my mom.
34: Last person you talked to? My mom.
35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? The last person I texted was a friend from work, so I guess a friend? Not exactly sure what is meant by relationship but oh well..
36: Favorite food? I am a carb lover, so really anything that is bread related, I am on it. Also I have a thing for chocolate.
37: Place you want to visit? It's currently a tie between Australia and the UK.
38: Last place you were? I was at a bible study at a friend's house.
39: Do you have a crush? Not currently...
40: Last time you kissed someone? This does not apply to me. Yet.
41: Last time you were insulted? Well, I took this situation as an insult although I don't think it was meant to be, but it was on Sunday.
42: Favorite flavor of sweet? I love chocolate! Especially dark chocolate...
43: What instruments do you play?? I don't play any. I used to play violin though.
44: Favorite piece of jewelry? Favorite piece currently are the sparkly bow earrings that look like something Kate Spade would have designed.
45: Last sport you played? Eh, I don't really play sports anymore. I used to play soccer.
46: Last song you sang? I'm pretty much always singing, so...I have been singing "Breaking the Law" by Emeli Sande.
47: Favorite chat up line? I'm assuming this question is like the UK version of a "pick-up" line. So, I don't really know any off the top of my head.
48: Have you ever used it? See previous question.
49: Last time you hung out with anyone? I think it was Wednesday We went to Tim Hortons woohoooo
50: Who should answer these questions next? Well, since this applies more to the Youtuber world I'm not sure this question can be answered by me.
Hope this was just a little bit interesting!! I'm still working out the ins and outs of blogging so please bare with me.
<3Becca<3
THE QUESTIONS
1: What are you wearing? A purple wintery shirt with sparkly snowflakes, jeans, and slippers.
2: Ever been in love? No. Can't say that I have yet.
3: Ever had a terrible breakup? Nope (refer to previous question).
4: How tall are you? I am 5'7".
5: How much do you weigh? Uh....
6: Any tattoos? No, but if in a perfect world, they weren't horrible for you and they didn't hurt, then I would really like to get some sort of scripture or scriptural based tattoo to remind me of God's unchanging love.
7: Any piercings? Yes, I have my ear lobes pierced. I wanted to get another set right above them, but I never got around to doing it. Also, I really like the nose studs you can get, but I'm too scared to get one.
8: OTP? I'm actually not sure if this refers to just celebrities in the "real world" or if this is just an online thing. But I will have to say for the sake of Youtube-ness, Tanya&Jim.
9: Favorite show? Parenthood/Blue Bloods/Hawaii 5-0/NCIS/SYTYCD
10: Favorite bands? I am loving Imagine Dragons. Not sure if they are like favorite of all time, but they're in the top.
11: Something you miss? Volunteering at Camp Patmos '07-09. Of course there are so many other things I miss. This is just something I thought of first.
12: Favorite song? My current favorite song is Lego House - Ed Sheeran
13: How old are you? I am 23. Yesterday was my birfday (Intentional typo because it looks funny).
14: Zodiac sign? I can hardly believe I know this because I certainly don't follow it, but I'm an Aquarius.
15: Quality you look for in a partner? Sincerity, loyalty, compassion, joyfulness, patience, self control...
16: Favorite Quote? Well, my favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11. This is probably because I'm a self-proclaimed worrywart. Another one I really like is along those lines: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. I'm not really sure who said this originally.
17: Favorite actor? I don't have one favorite, but one I have seen some of his movies recently is
18: Favorite color? PURPLE.
19: Loud music or soft? I think both have their appropriate times. I tend to like each about the same.
20: Where do you go when you're sad? My room. I try to distract myself from my sadness and fix or organize something. That usually helps. Temporary...
21: How long does it take you to shower? On average, I'd say about 15 minutes. When I had a shorter haircut, it was more like 10 min or less.
22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Ha. Well, this varies day by day. I don't really "get ready". But if I were actually getting up for something that I was doing that day, in a rush I would say 20 min. But if I were taking my leisurely time, it's more like half an hour.
23: Ever been in a physical fight? Nope.
24: Turn on? Someone who defends me in any kind of way.
25: Turn off? Swearing like a sailor...Is that really a thing? Are sailors really known for their foul language?
26: The reason I joined Youtube? The reason I "joined" Youtube was to explore my more creative side. And I also like visual arts. I haven't posted any videos yet of me, but I have created a few videos, with more hopefully to come with my face and/or voice.
27: Fears? Rejection by someone I trust. Everyone has that fear, right?
28: Last thing that made you cry? I think I cried happy tears watching proposals on Youtube yesterday.
29: Last time you said you loved someone? Yesterday. I told my mom.
30: Meaning behind your Youtube name? Well, my Youtube name is also my full name. Not much else to say. I guess I wasn't feeling very creative when I made it.
31: Last book you read? I would have liked to say Divergent, but I'm not quite done. The last book I actually did finish was Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I love this book. I have actually read it through twice.
32: The book you're currently reading? This answer applies to the last one: Divergent. I am also trying to finish The Kommandant's Girl, but this one is a library book so I have a time crunch.
33: Last show you watched? Last show I watched (at least most of it) was Downton Abbey with my mom.
34: Last person you talked to? My mom.
35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? The last person I texted was a friend from work, so I guess a friend? Not exactly sure what is meant by relationship but oh well..
36: Favorite food? I am a carb lover, so really anything that is bread related, I am on it. Also I have a thing for chocolate.
37: Place you want to visit? It's currently a tie between Australia and the UK.
38: Last place you were? I was at a bible study at a friend's house.
39: Do you have a crush? Not currently...
40: Last time you kissed someone? This does not apply to me. Yet.
41: Last time you were insulted? Well, I took this situation as an insult although I don't think it was meant to be, but it was on Sunday.
42: Favorite flavor of sweet? I love chocolate! Especially dark chocolate...
43: What instruments do you play?? I don't play any. I used to play violin though.
44: Favorite piece of jewelry? Favorite piece currently are the sparkly bow earrings that look like something Kate Spade would have designed.
45: Last sport you played? Eh, I don't really play sports anymore. I used to play soccer.
46: Last song you sang? I'm pretty much always singing, so...I have been singing "Breaking the Law" by Emeli Sande.
47: Favorite chat up line? I'm assuming this question is like the UK version of a "pick-up" line. So, I don't really know any off the top of my head.
48: Have you ever used it? See previous question.
49: Last time you hung out with anyone? I think it was Wednesday We went to Tim Hortons woohoooo
50: Who should answer these questions next? Well, since this applies more to the Youtuber world I'm not sure this question can be answered by me.
Hope this was just a little bit interesting!! I'm still working out the ins and outs of blogging so please bare with me.
<3Becca<3
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